THE VOICE WITHIN YOU LISTEN , how you like your coffee black , spiced, cappacinoed? cleaverly swirled in chocolate latte , or just milky ways smooth? a good book is like that ! designed with the heart in mind , i want to talk to you , mesmerize your head, saturate your heart with a few words that may be of praise to you, to get you to wake up from under the cloud , view life in new windows, my goal as a writer, is to connect with people of spirit and mind and love . I’am a christian who believe in the foundation of love and respect of others I cherish the teachings of god and what the bible says is real., i have not always walked with god we all fall short, i have a tormented, confusing, mysterious , and questionable look life, chronicling my own life as i go,, don’t judge nobody for no reason , he who can cast the first stone please do so, iam not indenial of my failures, how could i be truthful if i’am? i have come a ways in my journey on this earth ,not many can honestly walk in my shoes and not get thorns in their feet, i like most have a story to tell about my triumph and courage, i have lied when unecessary, untrusting when i did’nt have to be, relentless , and unruly as a child , as i said i was no angel, i question my self as a wife , did i do my best? and careless as a nurturer and friend , was i the best friend i could be maybe not depends on who you ask , easily we blame everyone around us to feel good about our selves, its so easy to put blame somewhere , its healthy to take some responsibility for failures, , there is not such thing as perfection, i could be racist in my views with no intent to harm, and distant in my awareness of my faults , guilty of not solving issue from my pass and making those issue a excuse and obstacle from not doing what was needed, trust me you did the same, mindless we are as humans forgetting our pass paths,our misjudgements and duties , god had to step in at some point, as we cease to not worry about his preception of us ,no matter how hard you love you may not get equal in return, and thats ok, You can survive, its not your burden to carry, move on to whats great right in front of you ,. no one give out medals powerful courage ,and dignity and left you out , you displayed courage when you had too, what others think of me does not hinder or stop my progress, ,my bless spirit keeps me motivated and realistic . no one can accuse me of being perfect , i’am not , i have my ups my downs , my mysterious voices in my head that makes me question others around me i’am apologetic when need to be , respectful and aware of my surroundings. I have been on the brink of death, floated out of this universe and returned with a new since of pride respect aduration and love for man kind., i remember 2005 I HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE THAT CHANGED ME FOREVER..and redirected my belief in the devine out side of this thing we call life., i have soared” in my academics and focused on my path and journey more than i ever have before , I have dined with kings and queens, and not recognized who they were, but now i know them well. I believe a man’s word is the richest thing he possess, and WOMEN are a dynamic compliment to a man , a worthy man at least , , a man appreciative of her beauty and grace dignity and abilities to move mountains , women are monumental structures , as important to life as the air we breath, worth more than a entire diamond mine., its just the way i see us, my mother was my role model 2nd in line i admired Harriet Tubman, you don”t know me if you don’t know how much I admire these women, and there are a few more women , grew up as a child admireing from my town., because of their strength in the way they raised their children worked hard and held down the family so well, god created these women brilliantly, strong, vivacious, soft ,solid, strong. these two women possess all these strengths and so much more. the pinnacle of pride and love. i think children are brilliant sculptures of gods hand elipsing rainbows to enjoy the beauty of , a cultivating creations of spiritual energy, children are our leaders, our kings , a man and a woman who work together in raising their children in harmony is the other great jewl from gods hands , .the harmony and togetherness is what accentuate the beauty of a . remnant flower that blossom together and radiate the beauty,growing as a family as friends as a blend of insatiable love , life is so worth while when you witness this type of flowesr blooming , i believe we are the creation of a smart wise and loving god. so are animals, plant oceans mountains, . you have to recognize your gift i think god has taken me through many hardships and crisis that help mold me in to the loving creature i had to become, please don”t misunderstand me, those hard lessons and encouraging words from god, as i sit here and write i watch a sunrise in my window and birds chirping in a tree. truely a beautiful day , if it was raining and thundering that to is beauty, god could have left us with no forcast, but what good would that have served , its just the simple things that make life so beautiful , so you wake refreshed and loved and blessed, just yesterday were joyful , spiritual , rejoicing, hormonius, proud, resilent, gracious, productive, yet you rose above all the anger you could have presented , it was not worth it to wollow in pitty and fruitless to devour anger you made it through to a new day that is really all that matters because i believe your best days of your life is ahead of you. why not ? you have a new awareness of your life why your pass was as it was . You dont have to try to forget it always remembering your struggles is renewing , focus on the good times you had, and triumphs you challenged, the long journey that brings you here today to read what iam saying to you is waking for you , have you ever stopped and thought about your waking up today. certainly you wanted to wake up today, but ask your self why?, and dont make it all about you., to have made it here to this day and moment., its time to make new journeys, you can go even farther than right here., you can change a heart of a hurt person who is in a dark place . we all have been in a dark evil places in our life . but its time to focus on that sun that rainbow that yellow brick road to love . self love is the most richest thing we possess, without that you have nothing even with billions of cash , you still have nothing . some of the richest people in the world have taken their lives . their own lives! . so that is proof you must love your self abundantly, if you know god, you know no one dies in vain its all in the plans of god .we all have a day of shame, but what is a blessing is you rise above it , suicidal people possess shame and disappointment i believe , we are so much better than that, so much more valuable , sometimes we need a hug or a kiss , that resolves crisis, someone who cares about you and remind of that is healing you can always be forgiven but first you have to forgive yourself. for how you judge your self unfairly. i write this article to introduce you back to your self something you lost in all your struggles and rude awakenings , the power you have over self is more than you believe you have, im not afraid of failure and triumph and truth . i’am who iam . and you will like me just as i’am or you were never my sister my brother my heartbeat. iam not famous or rich , or the highest of smart, but i love what god has given me to work with , my hands and my mind, and my heart, all those gifts we have to use to stay focus on whats important in this world. I have had moments i felt tempted to do wrong lost in my thoughts of dispair but i recued me., no one gave me a rope either i had to pull in fatih to rescue me . , i cried and cried, weeped and weeped, blamed god and shouted at the sky, but i realize there was no one to blame, i though i was above life, to good for struggles , and you have to get out of that mind frame its not healthy , I now understand depressed people i use to be one , you have to rest good eat right and focus on love and happiness that may sound sublimal, ,but it:s not ., i too have been blue angry at the world because of my situation and i learn that nothing is produced positive in a dark space, depression is darkness in an ugly form . there is no light unless you open the blinds and let it in . the sun always rise you have to seek it pray about it what ever gets you there. you will sink to a massive hole of morbid dispair if you let it control you, it only wants victims not achievers . you will listen to an evil voice in your head that tells you your hopeless as a penny with a hole in it . your no less than the bottom of a shoe rarely seen and always stepped on . what is depression ? to me it nothing .. so dont misunderstand me im not dismissing what society your doctor and pharmacutical companys swear by, i m just saying if you believe in the belief of courage you can advance pass anybodies idea of depression. what counts is your own belief in your courage to excelle beyond this anger you have , you can rise above depressed spirit, The mind is the most powerful part of our body , WARNING you of sickness, you have to learn to listen to your body, know your body and mind , do you feel your best ? can you your best? your tormented by some unseen force that you have allowed to enter your body . and you have to ask god to deliver you in every way you pray, you feast up on morality. but you must not think the answer of healing is with mankind , so many times we mistaken fear for doubt ., we are to hard on ourselves, i think you have to wake every day with a challenge on your mind how do i get better , what can i do to be better . its all physical it has to do with what got you there rather than how you got there. . thats how you get thorough it its not that difficult , you have to try harder, smile when you don”t feel like it …hope is what you promise your self when you don’t know what else to do to remedy the matter. Its really not that hard it seems far fetched but try it . There is a looming blanket of pain in America we all fall under this blanket of pain., pain is a learning lesson your gonna go through it rather physical or mental its up to you how you will handle the hardest challenges thrown at you, you have to prevail, show the world your strength ,DONT JUDGE. please stop judging other peoples crisis , you may be next , always ask yourself if that crisis was in my family at my front door? what would i do?, if that crack addict was in my family my son my daughter my husband what would i do , if that convicted person, who may be innocent even., was my uncle my brother, how strong would i be and can i give support , would i be gossiping about them or trying to help them ? what is the cost for walking away, do i get to go about my life sipping wine and partying dancing rejoiceing when someone i love is hurt? what did the people of egypt do when moses came with the word from god? go back and read the story for clarity of what i mean , the world has turn their back on this person should i care or show concern? pray hard for them ? removing them from your concious? ., no one is saying let them drag you down or use you, but your support is expected , do what you can to help, if you see a mother struggling with feeding her family , dont worry bout where she went wrong, don”t say thats not my problem! , if you know the person try to help if you dont know them try to help! ., dont worry about her journey and where she come from, or how she got to that point, it does not matter., your heart has to be in the right place either way , if she is a prostitute, a drug addict, allow your righteous to intervene, . right here in america homeless shelters lack resource because people are saying its not my problem, no its not your problem but make it your problem, there is so much freedom in giving and helping others , so much self recovery and renewal ,. volunteering helped me heal from the lost of my child,family crisis, to the lost of my mother . and the lost of my marriage too . i got out and saw people in worst shape than i thought i was in and i healed from within learn to forgive people who clearly stabbed me in the back or did not appreciate my kindness and judged me for my struggles, , your blessing double when you do this, trust the higher spirit, if someone continue to hurt you or take you for granted they have to go ! don’t put up with abusive toxic people hanging around you,. let them go.. they will just go on and hurt others if they cant get to you . thats a personal choice you have to make. it takes a while to do but you can . i mentioned my near death experience in the book , if you read my book INSATIABLE TRUTH. you will have a greater awareness of your own strengths. and the truth to what is undeniable in your life your ability to come face to face is insatiable . thank you god bless Jane.