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EAT YOUR HEART OUT .. REMEMBER when you were in school and you ate any thing you wanted to? you ate donuts ice cream, and stuffed your self to no end ., remember when you thought that you could swollow a half a bottle of big liter soda and would not owe no answers to society as to why? i use to could eat 2 whoppers from burger king and not feel no shame , i used to buy cookies and candy with my allowance and harbor them under my mattress so my sisters could not get to them , and when i get in my lonely moods , i sat in corner and munched out ., corn chips and cookies at the same time . kids still do this today, we learn to eat bad as young as 3, my moma use to give me candy just to shut me up from my drama, or melt downs , we all went through this and that is how and why the monster we are exist, , monster meaning , it is monsterous to think we can eat that way still , if your not over weight to the maxx your literally dropping dead , this world we live in has no mercy, it dont care that the statistic show if your around 40 and above you may be dead by 55? , who cares , you make your own bed when it comes to smart eating , sincable eating , understanding of how food works , DO YOU WANNA LOSE 40 lbs fast with in a couple of weeks . then turn back the concious, back to birth, as a child you knew nothing about eating what you eat you would of been ok on wheatgrass and milk from a goat ., we often frown at anyting that is healthy for us ., dont you know what mass producing is ? dont you know that your a victim as young as 2, soon as your out of diapers someone is shoving macdonalds down your throat, every thing you eat is chemically produced , unless its organic ., what do you do about it you asked .,, you can grow in to a fat cow if you even eat the right organics you have to do two things , eat in moderation, and reduction. you have to read labels ., if there are 7 ingredients its not for you . go back to natural it will cost more but dont you want to live longer ., i saw a 77 year old lady who look like the GRAVE KEEPER ., creep keeper , she was fragile , moving slow and wrinkled , then i looked at another woman down the street from me whom was th same age as her. so i went up one day and ask this lady how does she look so young , she told me this ., she said 30 years ago i decided to turn it all around . i decided to start on a journey i never had in my 20s she said , i listen carefully, because i trusted her for one and two what did she have to lose? by lieing to little me.
so she told me this she said the secret to her health is not what she left off the menu its really what never should have been there , she said imagiine your self a new born baby she said there are certain things you cant feed a new born that are bad for them right ? i said right she said now . imagine your self being reborn , she said you dont want to harm your self , your the baby she said ? you dont want to feed yourself anything you cant feed a new born ,, i frowned on that because at the time i love macdonald fries and mac!! nevermind you get the picture i was a pig, i ate what ever was good and what ever i want , i had a bout with high blood pressure depression ,and at just 30 i had the worst memomorie my eyesight was glaring and low . i was needing glasses to read a book ., so i knew i had to change something but i didnt know what ,. all 30 year olds are not this unhealthy what was i doing to me ., she told me a secret about eating and food that changed me forever, she said to me that i didnt need depression medications , she ask me why was i on them , i told her because i had been feeling blue over marriage issues and my life was down the tubes , i was burned out and hated my job, my step kids and somedays my husband ., my life consist of grocery shopping and feeding dog an the kids , i hardly went to get my hair done anymore and i was annoying to talk to , i complained about everything under the sun, and i had panick attacks like you wouldnt believe , i didnt want to go to parties with my husband and i hated being around his family , not because they were bad people , i just started to be reclusive and angry., i explain to her that i was not that way in my 20s , she said yes you were but because you drank so much and partied hard you didnt notice ., she said sometimes you can be so out of touch with your life you can , find your self seeking retribution, sanctuary from things . so you end up marrying for not love but distraction from loneliness , thinking you need someone to clear up your issues . someone ot share your burdens , then you marry and try to make that person miserable , at eventually you do ., not all go through this but this is what i noticed . i would go to my hidden corners and drink, alone . i would tell my self this is my relax time , and i want piece from the kids my husband my job ., i would tell myself i deserve , this beautiful peacful time . i dranked and enjoyed ., sometimes getting my husband out the house to have fun, on a budget we didnt have . i would go shopping and buy things i couldnt afford, knowing my husband was not working and i was the bread winner , and need to hold us down ., and i would buy cheap stuff for the kids and buy my self an expensive item just to feel better , and better was like crack it wore off fast but it was a remarkable high ., yes sir , i was a wreck!, i would have friends and family over on cook outs that made no since to my budget , i lived beyond my means , be cause drinking made be feel above my depression and that lasted til the quest was gone , and i went into a tail spend of locked doors , unrealism;, strange behaviiors , and wanting sex , money , lust love , and my husband was also a wreck too . his addiction and mine collided one could not help the other ., my weight begain to rise , i was in the zone of no return i believed it was someonelse issue not mine., i could always try to give advice , instead of lead by example ., i was a great person ot most , friendly standoffish , complicated , and when i showed love it wasnt pure from the heart , it was not simplistic , it was fabricated and destructive .
i was in a tailspin world wind of no change , i refuse to recognize the issues at hand , i told everyone they were the issue not me ., i thank god i came around , i was faced with the truth about me about life about my body, my mind , i was forces one day to come to realization of me .
food is never a friend if your abusing it , alchol is a acception to the rule , a unnegotiable distraction something you think is not the issue, and its not you are .
i was insomiac , never sleeping a full night , at food at 2am in the morning as though my metabolism was 7 years old , i ate ice cream and cake my favorite early morning ., i could see the weight on me immediatily, i one day was cleaning the house and i turned around to run the vacum in front of a big ole mirror and there it was , there was this thing staring back at me , the little inflated ego , with body parts outside of my little god intended frame , i could not blame walmart for the 2 dozen donuts on sale for $2 or star bucks for the tons of sugar in the cappocino made of pumpin and berry spice , or the grocery for the tons of processed meat i load on a sandwich iwth extra mayo , or my friend who bakes a mean german chocolate cake , and have one on the counter of her kitchen at all times , i was weak as a vessel i was a mouse in a cheese factory, a pig with tons of slopp , i was
engineeered to believe its them not me that is over weight , and outta control , it was them, not me that couldnt resist , a big bowl of gumbo and some fried shrimp at the reasturant of my choice . i was as good as a engineer at chooseing the best sea food restaurants ., once a sit down in that seat , and order i was in violation of every rational thinking law imagainable ., i couldnt just order bake shrimp rice with no buttter , or leave the biscutits out , not me ., i had to sit there and say HURRRAY ITS MY BIRTHDAY, ITS MY ANNIVERSARY, I HAVE FRIENDS IN TOWN , IM CELEBRATING!!! SO DONT TRY TO STOP ME HATERS!!
if you dare try to pull me from that table you will have to bring an army with you., i was in violation of every law of food and moderation imagainable , in my little head i though food was my friend, my comfort food i said , everyone has one , yes we all do but when your already overweight and not eating right , your goal should be to, separate from that fram of mind we all have ., about food ,its no need to fool our selves about it ., we are indenial of our responsibility to our body ., our body has no say over the destruction that goes on .
no one could tell us that eating pop eyes chicken is just bad for you ., who should eat it if not us , i dont know not our business if we are looking at hard fact bout fast food.,
even if you cooked at home you can still be unhealthy if your not cooking the right foods ., things like raw mild and cheese is key factors in healthy , tis us against them the fda dont want us to know about what we eat , its to scary to tackle its comfusing cause most of american kids have to eat this way ., or die . if you decide to go 100 percent organic great but know the dangers in not reading labels it the label is not that tiny green cirlcle that says usda… O n it you may have been scamed . ., here is a few things i believe we all can do to reduce the curse of dieing and not eating right as a result . dont say not me its them its really all of us , if your in america ,its you to REALLY ITS YOU ALL THE WAY … you who decided to pick up chocolate candy instead of nurtiscious grapes or melons .., maybe you didnt know ., some people have no idea
now i read labels before i buy
MY IDEA OF HEATHY WEIGHT LOST IS HERE .
1. throw away these following out of your houses for good . CAN SODA , POTATOE CHIPS OR SNACKS .CAN GOODS OF ALL TYPE .FROZEN VEGGIES . ,PROCESSED FLOURS , SUGARS white sugars , cheeses , processed ,, milk , snacks , fruit punch or sugar sodas
2. WHAT YOU CAN EAT …. PEANUT BUTTER , FRESH ORGANIC FRUIT, ORGANIC CHICKEN make a salad,
3. WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING ? RESULTS ? your health will improve 100 percent ., you will not feel depressed if you do the above you have to be dedicated to yourself ,, you have to want a change , no one will give you the time . if you wish . take time and make things happen for you. slowly doors will open , you will no longer need any of the meds you mentioneds exercise daily get your self in a gym 2 days a week ., morning stretchs is key get out of bed an stretch .. love your body ..,
4. WHAT ELSE TO DO … get rid of reading glasses ,train your eyes to see, shower in hot water only, wash your hair with organic shampooes ., drink applcider vinegar right before a meal that is fatting , it nutrielizes the acids and break down food before it gets to your colon.. protects the stomach.
take a prohibotic , (papaya is best) 1 or 3 a day before meal is key to optomial digestion.
soak in epsom salt after workouts to sooth body., brush your teeth with baking soda, …. use pure organic face washes on face . wash face with spring water only ….. no more can goods …. no more tv dinners they are not good for you and laced with the most deadly chemicals you can imagine , you might as well be eating roach spray. if your eating packaged foods . ….. eliminate bakery foods cakes , cookie , donuts pasteries of all type ., opt for an apple or plums ., or make your own cakes with organic flours . …… for sweating teas and coffee use agave sugar ., looks like syrup and taste like sugar .,
eliminate fruit drinks orange juices , and gran berry juices etc all bad for you and full of sugar ..
breads are tricky / brown bread eliminate white bread eliminate. .. find out what organic breads are your store ,
since your not eating lunch meat why would you need sandwhich bread ., try wheat torilla for tuna., tuna is the only can item i reccomend you eat., and eventually get rid of it too ..
bath in pure soaps , not ocmmerical soap., change to liguid soaps and the ones that are made hand made soaps ., organic or naturals your body is damaged from years of soaps .,
wash your hair with idstilled water . for cleanliness optimal ., milks should all be organic only 2% for weight issues . make sure it has a greed label at the bottom of carton that says usda certified ……
cheese organic or nothing . there are several organic sausage on the market , and hams you can eat that for safety ..
gargle with baking soda., get plenty of rest and short naps they say that a glass of red wine 3 days a week is great ., take a vitamin E .. suppliment daily, and B.VITAMIN . take short walks or 20 min on treadmill 4 days weekly, …… cook all vegables lightly always fresh organic or natural grown ……wash hands after handleing any thing cellphone , computor, doors , and when you come in the house from out doors wash hand immediatly bacteria is tranferrable . creating colds , flue , virus, and others , bottle water is essentual never drink water out of a fountain.,
vitamins you can not live without? magnesium, magnanese, potassium iron .. calcium it is important for women to take a multi vitamin daily. there are mineral and herbs with all the vitamins inside
QUIT SMOKING! period, what good does it do you to be into a habit forming item that will decrease your life span , if you dont care bout living for get all the things i told you ..
RED WINE. suppose to be healthy for you . dont forget its still alchol period so drink in moderations only
BEANS ; fresh grown beans only lima , black eye peas , northern beans or red beans is great .. cook them store them in freezer great for lunch or make a bean soup to snack on through the week winter months are great
AS the lady was speaking to me i got a bell go off in my head it all made since to me how do we expect to live long , and look beautiful if our insides are ruptured:? we are literally killing ourselves , no doctor cn give us any pill that will fix us medication is a not a cure its temporary fix to a life long issue.. you have to break away, and believe in you ., you will make it ., drop all that junk the doctor calls healing cureing . its not . its the the that caused the other things , there is a pill on the market for everything , the fact is the hundreds of diet medications someone claimed works for them but not you., get of the bull crap! non of it was ever designed to help you loose , you loose a little water weight and a dress size and you run and tell everyone you found the majic bullet , and dont even realize there is not one , you have been rolling with the lie for years , when you looked in the mirror and saw the wrong image peeking back , you got devastated and said i gotta do something and quickly forgot there was nothing you could do put .open a magazine or enternet page and see A SENSA COMMERICAIL AND GO FOR IT . . YOU WANT SO BAD TO BELIEVE THAT JUNK WILL REDUCE YOU , YOU GET EXCITE AFTER ABOUT A WEEK, ANY TING CAUSE YOU TO SEE RESULTS IN A WEEK , NEED TO COST MILLIONS … NOT $9,00 WITH SHIPPING FEES …. you been tricked again decieved , weight watcher all of them make claims that can not be proven. no one has been successful the only true diet is common sense , and self respect you have to respect this thing called our body, you have to embrace it , and enjoy it , to the fulliest your not suppose to be miserable with your body ., your body means so much more than that .
let go of all the emotional baggage you claim a pill can heal no way one pill can resolve all the years of emotional crisis you have built up ., so what if you take it the problems dont go away they just get bigger, and if you miss a few days you body panics and your at its mercy almost knocking the doors to the pharmacy down . if that is growing old i want no part of it … i see people my age strugglin, getting in the system called social security check over a problem that they allowed the dr to create for them ! then blame society, if your love one died your oviously depressed emotiional and out of wack for a few weeks , they say grievance can last almost a year so the dr puts you on high blood pressure medication , then he recommend you take a light depression medication like zanax or ambian for sleep but quest what there is a mineral in whole food store that does the same thing but has no chemicals that causes other issues and they are not addictive , they give you a temporary effect of relaxation and you know when to stop . using them . they are NOT ADDICTIVE ., there are hundreds of mineral and herbals foriegn products grown in the rain forest crafted into a pill form and put in stores they call whole food stores , vitamin shopps herb shopss one near you . but you will ride right pass it to get to the doctor where one zanax cost $3 each and your insurance dont cover your stiffed., one of the worst statement i hate to hear a person say is , i have to do what my doctor says do?” what really can I HAVE PERMISSION TO GO PEE!!!
SO now the doctor is your most trusted friend, and once his doors close he hope in his new benz and head to his big ole house in the hills over looking a majical expensive view , courtesy of every fool who paid him to misdiagnose them and have them strung out on drugs for the next 30 years of your life , you have about 30 years left from the day you, are told you have to be on 5 medications to cure one illness ., and one withoug the other will not work, yet they say oh but i forgot !! you cant mix this one with that one and by the way if you do , oh about 3 years from now . one of them will cause other issues , that i will have to send you to a specialist for that one . nd oh by the way , your in your 50s so that is the perfect age to retired ? but doctor why should i retire, well its not good for you to drive to work lifte 20 lbs ,and get angry at co workers thats to much stress on you , why? because your ageing now so , if you aint got a spouse to look after you then you….dooped ,,, cause now you best to get on social security . or retirement and sit home , and monitor your doctor appointments . because i cant get your money from medicare if your not taking all the crap i reccomment , and oh by the way the pharmacuitcal companies will not send me that big check monthly if i cant keep you and 100 others on a roller coaster they put you on , and dont go see another doctor cause he might tell you , you dont need what i recommend you acctually need what he recommend, then you feel betrayed by the first doctor, that you end up getting more illnesses because he put you on 4 pills tand the new doctor put you on 2, laugh, but your still screwed cause they both getting paid to turn you into a money making machine .. well your 40s late 50s by now your the ones they most go for . do ever see them putting a 20 year old on xanex, or lassex for high blood pressure ? or a 30 year old haveing heart surgery and being put in rehab for life ., social security and medicare pays better money for the older people who are , expected to come in with health issues for years and years of eating bad food . you body just gives up some point ., and you start feeling the aches , pain in the knee , you know longer can keep up with the younger kids on the job in their 30s , because their time will come , yours is here now . so deal with it cause the doctors dont care , they know if your to stupid to stop smoking on your own
then you are doomed by 40ish ., they ask you how long you been smoking oh 25 years you say well let me give you some oxygen that is why you cant walk up stares anymore , your teeth or burnt out and your eyes cant see due to years of burnt up cornea from smoke ., so let me recommend you a nice eye doctor..
POINT IS … doctors help each other by recommendations from other doctors types . .eye doctors will recommend you to a throat doctor for damages he assume come from smoking ., and you go walltzing in the throat doctor and he reccommend you to a hearing doctor so anything the effect of cigarette smoke has caused is what your gonna get a new specialist for that is usually about 10 body ailments you need help with smoking cause many illnesses , you are lost usually and dont know where to turn. your mother , wife sister friends all know you but they cant help you , most of them is sent to the great wizard of oz to , for illnesses that could have been prevented DOCTORS CAN NOT CURE YOU ., the can patch you up til you die of some god forsaken effect of years of abusing your body ., htey are doing no worst than you are doing ,they are just making sure you dont dig your way out the grave yard you been buried in ., next time you step in a doctors office ask your self this WHY AM I GOING HERE AND WHAT CAN I DO AT HOME THAT WOULD ELIMINATE THE REASON IM WANTING TO GO THERE ?
ask your self , can i cure my self ? is it to late ? and if so why? why do i feel its too late ? to cure me ., what is a doctor? what are they protecting us from cause they sure aint curing us from nothing ., if i have an ear ache i drop in some peroxide in spring water. , and in hours its gone away., if i have a migrain i meditate for 20 mins and it goes away , if my blood pressure is high i eat some dark chocolate , or apple cidar with water , or meditate all together it works miracles . what miracle you might ask cureing yourself is no miracle at all its human nature , you know more about your body than a doctor if you go to him your gonna tell him whats wrong and what caused it . then hes gonna say oh well i can give you a fix that will get you through the week , next thing you know your hooked , he makes you think you will be on this drug for ever and the only ones who smarten up and got it is the people who never believed that in the first place , , some folks loose thier job because they get on medications and a pressummed by medicare incapable of holding a job , some dont want to work even .. but the problem is your dancing with the health devil , cause your literally excusing yourself from the responsiblitiy of living healthy you conciously decide to let the doctor orchestrate your life ., and all you get is a check once a month and free health care , if you break a leg your of more value to them ., if you want to play the old fragile victim you will be playing that tune for the rest of your short lived life ., kiss good bye , a healthy life style , you see some folks younger than you by 20 years looking so good , and you sink in deeper depression , anger and dispair, you never for one minute point the finger at that , pretty skin and hair , healthy smiling nice doctor who is literally using you ., you say i dont care im not paying for it anyway ..,, thats true cause you lost everything that meant anything in life YOUR HEALTH ., YOU are in line for parkison , alzhiemer , lou gerid, diabetes 1 and 2 , hearing lost, eye signt issues and all , that his cocktails of fantasy medications has to offer you., he checks on your send nurses to help you off the floor, and tell you , he will take one leg so you can function better , and if that aint getting you a bigg enough pay he will take both , and if your tired of sitting in a wheel chair facing four walls at 46 then he will telll you too bad . your no spring chicken anyway .. so take your medication and shut up .., he will say your lucky to be alive cause his last 4 patients died recently ,,and you will say why he will say because they wouldnt listen to me . i told them they need to take a dffferent medication for the heart issues , i told them if they didnt have surgery they would die , i told them that they were not gonna make it , i even gave them a expiration date . umm how come the rest of us didnt get that ? because we never went there for a toothache or a bad sleeping issues or depression .
you can solve your own health issues , all those books written is not lieing there are people who live this life everyday and a doctor gets scare to death that they will influence their patients not to come back , for a doctor ot loose one fool! oops i mean patient they loose million from medicare , pharmacutical and nursing homes even , nursing homes is another lies ., if a person can not work and get social security why cant they stay alone.,:? the doctors know the family want take care of them and they reccommend a nursing home . period unneccesary for a lot of folks but its money that counts , and an american crisis within it self , old folks are beat mistreated and just plan lost , other cultures like indians take care of aging parents in america its a health care profits so they dont care what you do with grand ma or moma with heart issues dementia , alzhiemer they want you to give that money to a nursing home a nasty trashy discusting nursing home . that is the american thing to do ., we all get old one day. and we all will end up there if your not rich ., period . and some young doctor will continue to get paids major money by our goverment to monitor those homes . and a lot of those people didnt live productive in their 70s because in their 20s and 30s they destroyed the body., the body is a temple , and its strong and resilent , we are not suppose to be able to distroy it . and we do this every day in small sections of this country this is acceptable . poor health care is big . our system dont work for us it works against the aging , and sick ., what is sick i dont believe people get sick i think people grow un healthy, i think we as humans are just negligent of our bodies , were living in a super media world where one person sit on a computor for hours iwth no exercise or people look at thier sell phones so much , that their neck hurts eyes are worn out , and by the time your in your 50s your eyes will be gone gone .. a memorie you will be seeing a eye doctor as well as just loosing your self to this pitful system of health care .
funeral homes welcome you anytime. your funeral home bound if you dont change your ways , there is nothing about your body your mind cant correct you mind its the storongest instrument you have , you can settle any issues you have with your body by talking to yourself what do you want to do for your body? dont ask anyone but you what you want to do to resolve your health issues . , we do this same thing to the children if they get an ear ache we run them to the doctor if they are haveing issues in school fighting , what ever they rush them to the doctor who already knew what he was gonna put him on before you got in the door., they know most cases of children out of cntrol is emothinal and they put the child on a personality altering drug , but then hes 10 and by the time he 16 he is dependant on this drug? ummm? so you get it it all starts now younger cause they know a lot of peple are wising up on this medication thing , a lot of children now days by the time they 29 drop all that medication and dont get back presuaded until 40s and 60s this is the age the witch doctors want you perfect come on in let me tell you what i can do to fix you .
you can not be fixxed your not a broken record . your human , and docotrs know nothing about your by measureing your heart beat and drawing blood , or checking your tempature ,all the little bull you see them doing is just to wast time . my doctor use to leave me in the private little room til he sees 5 other patients when he got to me he said , i know what your here for as he open my mouth ot look in he said how you been ,and i said miserable those pills dont work anymore he said let me put you on prozac ,, i bet you will like them , i said why he said my other patients love them . i said how many he said 85% of my clients who come here has emotional issues , i said yes your a gynocologist he said i know but im a doctor trained in several fields of study he said has he checked my knee reflex, i told him wll im not feelingthat bad since i got off effexor , he said are you sure i said yes ., he said how could that be i said , well i couldnt get in to see youas i though i could so i decided to go without it for a week , he said how did you feel i said great , then i looked in his blue eyes and i said doctor do you think i should go without these for a while he said dont you feel better i said yes he said i suggest you not drop what you on . i said why not he said cause its gonna eventually cost issue, i did some readng on depression and women a found out that most of the depression was self inflicted and temporary, and i need to stop blaming everyone . my ex , my this my that , never looking inside of me at all .
i hope what im saying will help just one person i bare witness to the lovely and beautfiful form a life takes on once it free of mans lies and deception almost anyone will try to make a dollar america can not thrieve without social security ,and medicade , its essentual to make this great amount of money . money money money ., we are selling sex tapes posing nude any thing imaginable for money it dont surprise me the health world jumped in and took over . we have to be careful how we lable our selfves , im a wife mother , schoolar and friend i workded hard on myself , i get up early exerise and here ima writing this true ego so you can have what you wish .. im not purfect i eat junk some times like watermellon ,chips and iice cream junk foods i love to eat , its just the way it its , i miimize and i grow inside so that i can make decidions that are wise for me .
i dont hate doctors i hate what they stand for, its not just about the money ,wheni it comes to healthy in this coutry., you work all your lifte til your old and cant do it or dont want to do, hardly anyone make it to retirement anyway people job hope a lot not caring your gonna need to retire to get all you can get ., im writing this story in dedication of all my brothers and sisters out there who want to make a change . or want to help someone else . i want you to know i understand your mission im on one still to. . its about change to day thanks
Its sunday morning at the church of christ , the day is sunny and bright, any sunday will do , its just i notice today was different, i saw sister mary, opening the doors for fresh air, the church is empty through the week, she arrived first to open up the doors , before turning on the air, she set up the pulpit , pass out the sermon, as she placed them on the pew, sunday morning is what it has been its a place to come home to, the home god gave us to temporarily lay our burdens down, its the place where we come to , to rejoice cleanse our souls , connect with other souls , and feel the love and joy, we come to thank god for our children our home our spouse , our new grandbaby , our son graduating , our new job, our raise at work , our new this our new that., we want to praise god for what we have. at this house we come to sing we come to dance we come to praise, and pray., we hold hands and we, chante and we listen to the preacher sermon., he come to teach , we come to learn,
its important in his house to acknowlege why you come , there you didnt just come there this is where destiny
said go to , some time you dont go but when you do you feel blessed , you feel face to face with god here,., cant you hear his voice in your ear , telling you its, gonna be alright, every thing you worried about before you entered the door was washed away., this is why you come here to feel the power of his words , his hands on you, his teaching , some people say god is every where and yes he is , he is at your hospital bed if your terminally ill, hes at your home protecting you, , hes at the site of a car accident and pulled you out, hes in your car getting you safely home., hes at your job, at your schools , he is every where . but what if you didnt believe this where would you be? how lost would your soul be ? isnt belief at the middle of the circle of faith you have , is belief in god the reason you bothered to come to congregate on this day some days you never come, but to day you wanted to come and you did .,
how come we think , we know god if we dont know self , you have to know god to know self, they are not two things they are one .combination . as i set in the pew, i put my hand down , clutched my bible and prayed, i prayed for , acheing hearts of the ones i loved , i pray that god let me stay around a little longer to be with the ones i love , i pray for separating the mind from unhealthy thoughts , and of worrying about people who didnt worry bout me .,, i ask for for giveness for my pass wrongs and my blessings for my rights, i knodded my head to sister mary, as i creeped in early as i usually do., i sat on the pew in the back and i wanted to have a moment to talk to god ., the light wind from the morning creep through the open door ., as mary walked up and down the isles , checking on every thing, preparing for the day., she went to the pulpit, and she placed fans on the chore seats ., and she turn on the light over the reverends desk , she open the bible that the reverend spoke from , and she sanged a christian tune , as she did , she walked softly like a cat , as she creeped , back towards me , i had bend my head to pray. as she sat next to me, and put her hands on my back she began to speak., she told me she remember when i was a little girl , comeing to that same church, she said she can remember my first easter speech where i forgot every words . we talked about my wedding we held right in this church ., and my childrens baptism, and and the day , i was saved, we talked about , how good the church had been to us both., as she rubbed my shoulders , and she smiled at me ., i notice some people coming in the door , softly being seated one by one ,
i notice a small child run and jump on the seat , and held her hand for her dad to sit down next to her, i saw , a newly wed couple , very young come in and sit in front of me, both of grew up in this very old church ., this place was grand it was monumental it was iconic , my mother and her mother went here, i wanted be here too the pews are older than all of us . here. they tell many stories of joy , tears funeral, and anniversaries , the pews stood stronge protecting us , embracing us , for many years , the old fan in the back of the church blew before we had central air it still stands there . the pulpit still the same . 3 generations of pastures family , still teach the word of god . straight form the good book.., this place is a safe haven , a treasure , the pews just like and old friend waiting to greet you ever sunday morning .
when i left home , from high school , to venture into the world , i always though of this home god gave me , i often come back for home comings and celebrations and its still gods house god house is not suppose to change , the warmth you feel 100 years ago will still be here tommorow as a new generation get to appreciat this home . this house of christ ., blessed are the pews that hold us dear , that secure us and welcome us every time we come there . as the reverend walked in all rised up out of our seats , and he said a short prayer and ask us to sit down ., his opening sermon was great he said church i want to talk to you today about gods promise ., i want to remind you why your here to day as you have many days of your life . , it doesnt matter how long you stay away as long as you come back one day, that is gods will for you. accept it and believe it ., and you shall recieve it .. as he placed his bible on the alter, the chore began to sing , and i can hear the sound of angels in my ear , as the rev raised his hands we all took a stan, as the chore sang you just stand . i feel the majic of the day , the praise the sun light shine through the stain glass window . as we sang and rejoiced this sunday morning . it was truely a new day .,i will take one million days like this in my life time if i could . the pew by ljanehuff.
A country that, will never sleep again, the smell of death in the streets , the confusion the changes, of a century
as we knew it , anger violence hurt, passion , everyone is to blame no one take the blame , police are judged , judges become misleading , politician lie, people take a wider look at our world , and its no longer them but its now us . just us, against that generation of people , that voiceless group of tyrants , fighting a worthless cause ” praying for an end, to the endless massacre, affraid to speak your true mind growing up in a world that devalues you catagorize you, labels you, strip your of your self respect, base you on a color , as though your a cattle call, no one takes responsibilities for the others, not even the president , not even the congress , the pope dare to get involved, we call on god , expecting resolve for a mess we create together, cant fight this giant this thing we call tragedy., tragedy? where did she come from ? Who invited her here ?. Why is she welcomed ? , how did she get in? and how does she know who to victimize where does she get the courage to destroy divide, and to concur us, we are merely black birds with clipped wings, decomposeing from within, destroying us , the smell of vulgarity in the air , the feel of a knife in your back , the evil the hate the blood that drips down the hands of the evils of the world , the dispised, the non loyality we possess, a mixture of provocative terror, angry wolves , your soul you know no more , you will never be the same , your birthday was your free day , you were captured and enslaved upon birth, why? because you were not born free as you thought , freedom is so different than the teachings of the meaning you know , they say your born free yet, there are chains that are around your waist , your neck your arms , your feet , you were never free, you dream a thousand dreams of freedom just like slaves must do , you dreamed of a free world , to sharecrop and raise a family, love dance celebrate, honor god , and live, the dream you been denied no one told you though you come here , to find truth.
your not on an island, the tragedy belongs to you too. its ours she comes for us all at a time ,we least expected, reaping astronomical damage to the soul…
what do you love more than freedom? pride , dignity, respect , one without the other is no good ., useless unethical, unrealistic , greed, and selfishness has pushed you into a corner of deception and lies, turn on the tv take off the blinders, lift the smokescreen,, you must share every thing you have , with the less fortunate , rich or poor were all the same no one escapes what is offered for us all to , what a pity when you miss this.
orchestrated in your mind , far from the realism of faith , a real thirst and desire for finding ones self , move the
walls that bind you , move the mountains that block you ., move the hills that are in your view ., you have a ways to go to get there, you got a lot of work to move everything that holds you here .,
here in a place and time you never thought of before if they gave you free land , you want to give it back , because its of no use to you , they said man was equal , he is not ., some don’t want to share the riches of the land , even if you get on your knees like a animal, plow , dig, crop., harvest , this land you get nothing but sore knee and bruised hearts , anger, empty , feelings , for another generation you could never even heal , so what do you do ? you stand , you stand for pride and justice , you stand for righousness and fair , you stand for clarity and , truth in men, monumental acheivement is yours , you don’t mind shareing as long as you have freedom to do so. nourish your own fields, crop your own land, harvest your wheat , but do help your neighbors less fortunate than you are .
forget what you read about , be who you are ,dont bask in the hate , you can be the rise or the fall, you have to rise for something are you will fall for everything .,
don’t bite the forbidden fruit you will go back to where you progressed from, you have to know your strengths , dance with your weaknesses , and hold your pride near and dear . nothing on earth is sad as the word i failed , when you do you let down all that needed to ride your back to get to where we all need to go get to., your a leader many will follow your guidance you have to be sure to lead with graciousness and peace .,
the greatest gift god gave man is ability ., use it before you lose it ., its freedom its yours , its mine its ours .,
amen written by ljane huff
The woods are thick and still and deep,but i have promises to keep, a frosty kiss
a shiver of snow flakes in my shoes , the owl in the tree whistles a happy tune
a shimmering light on the blanket of snow , raindeers dance under
mistletoe, the white creamy pond lay frozen and aglow , accross the
pastures i see heads of sheep” resembleing snow balls,in snow so deep,
the smell of ginger in the air , the horses bravely marching
tracking thorough a snowy terrain through the deep forest,
walking against a blue dark sky of stars , , all you could see is
the stars shinning so bright” . toast to the winter , celebrate the
rise of he glorious cold day, before my eyes .,jingle the bells from
our church i hear, so crystal clear, the tune i sincere, of joy and
laughter in every ring , and you could almost hear the angels
sing, the winter i remember as the snow fall fast hit the
horse horness we’re almost home at last, the whistleing wind as
you open the door , the fireplace roar with warmth galore
the nuts in the bowl, the coffee on the stove , the blanket
to greet you in a cozy seat by the window , truely amazing
winter time is here ., toast to the coming of a new day
to start again in a winter way.